Waking Up To A Dream

“Dreams are more real than reality itself, they're closer to the self.”  -- Gao Xingjian

I needed to have a rather challenging conversation with someone. Nothing major really, just trying to see things from each other’s angles. I didn’t realize that I was a little uneasy about it, until I dreamt about the whole situation. In the dream, I saw that we’re both sitting and talking at a small table in a very low-lit apartment. All of a sudden, the conversation takes a really bad turn. Although I can’t hear anything, the whole room feels dark and tense. It’s going as wrong as it possibly can. (In my waking life, the possibility of this never even crossed my mind). Then suddenly the scene changes and I’m slowly and curiously walking through the hallway of that apartment building. I stop in front of a door with a big star (much like for an Actors trailer) and underneath the star is one word: Lazarus. I stand there with some flowers in my hands knowing that the answer to my problem lies behind that door. Of course, I wake up just as my hand lifts up to knock on the door. The door with just one word: Lazarus.

First of all, I didn’t realize my mind was stressed out about having that conversation and then I was struck with the possibility that it might not go well. Secondly, who in the world is Lazarus? Like most people, minutes into my morning I completely forget about the dream.

Normally I wouldn’t have paid much attention except that recently I’d seen a Nova special on PBS which discussed that nature of dreams. Ever since being exposed to Freud's Interpretation of Dreams in college, I always felt that there’s more to our dreams than we might understand or be able to relate to on a day-to-day basis. I don’t agree with everything he says. And sure some of our dreams are kind of random, and express our experiences in a jumbled up fashion, but many can carry a lot of meaning and be relevant to what’s going on in our lives. Many cultures like the Native Americans have a deep reverence for dreams. 


One of the most interesting studies in the documentary on PBS had to do with a mouse in a labyrinth; wired with tools to measure his brain activity, the mouse would roam around in the labyrinth looking for food and water. There was a unique brain pattern each time he turned a corner as it required slightly different skills. Surprisingly, when he fell asleep he continued having the same brain patterns as if he was running in the same pattern in his sleep, turning the corners in the same way. The researchers concluded that whatever we learn during the day continues to be processed and analyzed by our brain during the deep-sleep (REM) cycle of our sleep; especially the things that we focus on right before our sleep or things that leave a huge impression on our mind from the day. Perhaps this is where the expression “sleep on it,” got its start. Sometimes by the time morning rolls around, a problem that seemed so gigantic the night before has obvious solutions. It’s fascinating to learn that a dream played a part in the invention of the Periodic Table of Elements by a Russian Chemist, the sewing machine, numerous plays, and art work.

For the next couple of days, I randomly thought about the word “Lazarus” until one day I finely decided to look it up. A part of me felt like perhaps I should pay extra attention to my conversation and make sure that I don’t have any strong assumptions going into it. My curiosity also got the best of me and I thought that I should at least try to figure out who Lazarus is since the dream was so vivid. I didn’t expect to find anything relevant. But as I Googled the name (don’t know what we did before the internet), the first entry was a wiki page about Lazarus. It turns out unknown to me, Lazarus is a historical character from the New Testament. He’s the subject of a miracle, where Jesus restores him to life after he was dead for four days. His name comes from a Hebrew word Eleazar, which means "God's assistance" or "God (has) helped." In scientific terms, the Lazarous phenomeon refers to an event where a person spontaneously returns to life (the heart starts beating again) after resuscitation has been given up. Hunh?

As with every dream, it has a deep meaning for the dreamer and this one certainly helped me on many different levels. It also made me more aware of what I put into my mind just like the food I put into my body, no more news before bedtime. Oh and that conversation? That went smoothly since I didn’t go into it with too many attachments and expectations. :-)

Carl Jung summed it up nicely when he said, “The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.” Sweet Dreams to that.