Finding Wholeness In Our Imperfections

There’s a feeling you get right before it rains. The clouds gather up, the sky turns gray, and you can practically smell the earthy scent in the air. Something deep inside of you knows the rain is coming. 

I’ve been having that feeling in the pit of my stomach, about writing. Things have been incubating for a while -- thoughts, ideas, reflections. Things that simply can’t be shared in 140 characters or less. Things that can’t be scrolled through on Facebook to people who may, or may not actually know you well enough to understand your perspectives. Things that need a slowing-down, not only on the part of the writer, but also the serendipitous reader who stumbles across this small blog, in this great big world of ours.

This blog that hasn’t been updated for two years. It was certainly not for the lack of things to share (and my apologies to all the new email subscribers, you’re probably wondering who this is right now :). Somehow there’s always been a small part of me that believed that writing and reflecting is a luxury. And I should focus on doing more important things that need to get done. I'm slowly learning that life constantly needs to, not just be examined at every level, but also shared, when possible. It is something that requires more courage and honesty than I can probably muster up most of the time. 

Made even more beautiful after breaking

A part of me is becoming more aware of the collective story that we're creating as a people, as citizens of the world, and especially as women -- and becoming more conscious of the impact its creating on the next generation. To see myself as a thread in the larger tapestry and taking responsibility, not just for my own little piece of the thread, but also for other threads around me, requires a deeper commitment to the truth than if I was fending just for myself. 

It also requires a getting over my own self, and my own insecurities. Whether they’re about not being a good writer or having something complete and worthwhile to share.  If anything I’ve learned at reaching the big 4-0 (I know!) is that I am always going to be a work-in-progress. And that is okay. In my twenties, I liked to believe that I would have reached some state of semi-permanent enlightenment by this age. (lol) But alas, I know that I will constantly just be “arriving,” in life, so I’ve learned to become a little more comfortable on the journey.

A beautiful Japanese phrase, “wabi-sabi,” sums this up elegantly. Wabi-sabi is the understanding that when things are imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete, instead of taking away from their beauty, they actually enhance it.