3.30.2010

Of Relationships, Attachments, and Love

The first week in Mexico, I often found myself looking over my shoulders to share some things with Nipun. Only that he was a couple thousand miles away. :) Sometimes it was funny, sometimes interesting, and sometimes just plain frustrating –- that need for comfort, advice, and his laughter that often lightens my heaviest burdens. 

No matter how independent we are, relationships tend to groove us in the habit of relying on the other person for certain things. There is a part of it that’s very natural and yet there’s a part that has a potential to turn authentic love into clingy attachments.

Attachments are worthy of a closer look, from time to time. For Nipun and I, it isn’t that uncommon to spend extended periods apart -- which naturally inspires that type of introspection. But generally I’m the one at home and when you’re going about your life in the usual comfort of your routine, you don’t notice some of the attachments in the same way. This trip, though, has helped immensely in taking a closer look at some of those gray areas. I’ve undoubtedly strengthened certain muscles of self-reliance that were sitting idle for a while.

I've always insisted in entering any relationship out of joy and out of service to help each other walk on the path. After continuously practicing this for a while, the "what do I need from this relationship" naturally turns into “What can I bring to the relationship, and how can I help you reach your higher purpose?” Then, you trade in the mundane insecurities for the simple joy of being alive together, and the relationship can truly begin. The love progresses from being partial and fractional to being spiritual and whole.

8 comments:

  1. That was so beautiful to read. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really loves your post. It was a great read. I always go through your posts whenever I'm free and also share it with my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  3. wow, guri ben... such a beautiful sharing... happy to be alive!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great thoughts, Guri. I'll be reflecting on this as Asha and I approach our anniversary.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks everyone! It was nice reflecting on this.

    Rahul - wow has it already been a year. Congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4/15/2010

    so funny because i woke myself up one night at the recent 30-day because, in my dream, woke myself up in turning to pavi to share something, only to realize that she wasn't there :-)

    great stuff,

    v

    ReplyDelete
  7. Guri - I really loved this post, particularly this: "What do I need from this relationship" naturally turns into “What can I bring to the relationship, and how can I help you reach your higher purpose?" I've really enjoyed reading your blog. Enjoy the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous7/22/2010

    Guri, I am sooo enjoying reading your blog and I've thought on this subject of attachment in relationships often ,too.

    I think i was most touched by your phrase, "you trade in the mundane insecurities for the simple joy of being alive together, and the relationship can truly begin. The love progresses from being partial and fractional to being spiritual and whole."

    I like this and agree with you, dear. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences, Guri! xo

    ReplyDelete